THE GRADE-LEVEL PLAYBOOK - The brutally honest ADHD parenting guide to what a 504 Plan actually is, why your neurodivergent kid needs one, and how to build it — with humor, grit, and real-life examples.

Welcome back! In Part 1 - The Foundation, we covered:

·       What a 504 Plan actually is

·       How it compares to an IEP (without the jargon)

·       Why most ND kids start here

Now it’s time for the “what” — exactly which accommodations to ask for at each grade level. We’re starting in the sticker-chart years of elementary school and riding this train all the way to middle school chaos.

How to Build a 504 Plan: What to Ask for by Grade Level

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL: Structure, Support & The Snack Break Era

In these early years, your kid probably still believes in sticker charts and that their teacher lives at school. This is your chance to lay the groundwork — executive functioning scaffolding, classroom regulation, and enough structure to keep the daily meltdown parade from becoming a school-wide attraction.

Here’s what to ask for (yes, you can copy/paste this into your request form — no shame):

Organization & Executive Function

• A second set of textbooks for home, or a list of required texts provided to parents (so when they “forget” the book, you can still help — or they can scribble along with the lesson).

• Daily adult check-ins to review homework planners and materials before dismissal (translation: don’t rely on their memory — it’s basically a sieve).

• Graphic organizers, visual checklists, and planning tools for assignments (ND brains love a good visual map of the chaos).

Seating & Environment

• Preferential seating near the teacher or a “study buddy” (front row = easier to redirect without turning it into a public spectacle).

• Predictable daily routines and visual schedules (ND kids and surprise changes mix about as well as tequila and beer).

• Permission for legitimate movement — standing while working, flexible seating, short walks (because “sit still” is a fantasy, not a plan).

• Additional supervision during transitions — hallway, recess, lunch (a.k.a. the chaos zones where instructions vanish into thin air).

Testing & Assessments

• Extended time on tests and assignments — time-and-a-half or untimed, depending on the kid (processing takes longer when your brain has six browser tabs open at all times).

• Small-group or alternative test settings — fewer distractions and less pressure for kids who hate being the last one done (and fewer chances to drift off wondering what’s for lunch).

• Open-book or take-home tests where appropriate — memory recall under pressure is a cruel game; let them show what they know without the panic factor.

• Permission to retake tests without penalty — sometimes the first try is just a warm-up for their brain to remember how to brain.

• Written outlines or study guides before tests — “check your notes” is not a strategy when their notes look like a treasure map drawn during an earthquake.

• Use of notes, outlines, or checklists during tests — if real life allows Google, school can allow notes.

Attention & Focus

• Fidget objects — squishy balls, textured items, clicky or spinny things that don’t sound like tiny jackhammers (you’re welcome, teachers).

• Cueing and redirection to stay on task — without public shaming (save the performance notes for theater class).

• Visuals to highlight key info, tasks, or transitions (ND brains spot colors and icons faster than they hear “pay attention”).

• No withholding recess or physical activity as punishment (if you want better focus, let them run it off).

Lesson Delivery & Instruction

• Multi-sensory instruction — visual, auditory, and hands-on materials (because “just listening” isn’t happening).

• Key concepts emphasized and repeated using multiple modalities (yes, again — repetition is a feature, not a flaw).

• Written steps/checklists for multi-step instructions (ND kids can lose steps faster than you lose socks in the dryer).

• Frequent checks for understanding — not just “Does that make sense?” (they’ll always say yes, whether it does or not). Try: “Explain it back to me so I know you’ve got it.”

• Private signals for breaks or repetition (because raising a hand to say “I’m lost” is a social nightmare).

• Visuals and outlines provided alongside verbal instruction (brains process pictures faster than paragraphs).

Behavior, Confidence & Self-Esteem

• Classroom responsibilities — helping tasks, leadership roles (jobs build pride, structure and confidence).

• Positive reinforcement systems tailored to the student (not just the dreaded clip chart of shame).

• Social-emotional learning support if available (regulating emotions is a skill — not a moral failing).

  
  

Why this all matters?

This stage is where you teach your kid how to learn — and how to feel safe doing it. You’re not “coddling” them; you’re building access, skills, and confidence so school doesn’t become something they dread before middle school even starts.

MIDDLE SCHOOL: Chaos, Cafeteria Drama & “Fostering Independence” (aka You’re on Your Own, Kid)

Middle school is when the training wheels come off way too early. Your kid is suddenly expected to juggle seven teachers, a locker, a schedule that changes every hour, puberty, and a frontal lobe still under construction.

Here’s what to ask for when you’re reworking or creating a 504 Plan at this stage:

Organization & Executive Function

• Daily planner use with teacher review and initials — don’t assume they’ll use the planner for anything besides doodling; someone needs to check it actually has assignments in it.

• Graphic organizers, visual checklists, and outlines for projects and long-term assignments (ND brains need a roadmap, not just “don’t forget your science project”).

• Extra time (150% or Extra Day) for classwork, tests, and homework (because shifting gears between seven classes takes mental fuel).

• Reduced workload when appropriate — fewer math problems, shortened essays, alternate formats (quality over quantity; busywork isn’t skill-building).

Testing & Academic Support

• One test retake per assessment without penalty — sometimes the first try is just a brain warm-up.

• Open-note or take-home tests at teacher discretion — real-world problem solving uses resources, not just recall.

• Small-group testing or alternate settings when possible — fewer distractions and less “everyone’s staring at me because I’m still writing.”

• Study guide or outline provided before tests — again “just study your notes” is useless if your notes look like abstract art.

• Access to audio-recorded lessons or permission to record lectures — listening back later beats “I thought I’d remember it.”

Seating & Environment

• Preferential seating near instruction and away from distractions (translation: not planted in the middle of the social vortex).

• Fidget tools allowed and not mistaken for toys (yes, they actually help, and no, the pencil sharpener doesn’t count).

• Prompted movement breaks during or between class periods — because sometimes the wiggles win.

Instruction & Communication

• Instructions given both verbally and in writing — memory is a trickster, and auditory-only directions vanish in seconds.

• Teacher checks for understanding after directions — not just “any questions?” (spoiler: they won’t raise their hand).

• Private cue or signal when the student needs help or is overwhelmed — a lifeline without making them a public spectacle.

• Regular communication with a case manager or designated staff — someone needs to know the full picture, not just snippets from each class.

Transitions & Behavior

• Avoid lines during transitions to reduce overwhelm (hallway traffic jams are sensory nightmares).

• Extra time to get from class to class — lockers, backpacks, and social chaos slow things down.

• Additional supervision during unstructured time — nutrition, lunch, after school (prime time for meltdowns or bad decisions).

• Positive reinforcement for task initiation and completion — starting is half the battle.

• Gentle redirection when off-task — no public call-outs (embarrassment isn’t a teaching strategy).

Why it matters?

This isn’t the “figure it out” era — it’s the teach them how to figure it out era. You’re scaffolding independence, not throwing them into the deep end without a pool noodle. The 504 should still include adult support, flexibility, and clear systems — not vague goals like “be more organized.”

Now you’ve got a grade-level playbook for elementary and middle school that’s part strategy, part survival kit.

In Part 3 - The Action Plan, we’ll take on the SAT-panic years of high school — where executive dysfunction meets GPA pressure — and break down exactly how to request a 504 Plan, what to do when the school pushes back, and how to follow up like it’s your full-time job.